New Standardised Rural Australian Computer Term’s

I found this little joke on the Back of a piece of Junk mail about 5 or so years ago)

Log on – Make the barbie hotter
Log off – Don’t add any more wood
Monitor – Keep an-eye on that barbie
Download – Getting the firewood off the ute
Floppy disc – What you get from trying to carry to much firewood
Window – What to shut when it’s cold outside.
Screen – What to shut in mosquito season
Byte – What the Mosquitos do
Bit - What the Mosquitos did
Mega Byte - What the Townsville Mosquitos do
Chip – A Bar Snack
Micro Chip – What’s left in the bag after you eat the chips
Modem – What you did to the hay field
Dot Matrix – Old Dan Matrix’s wife
Laptop – Where the Cat sleeps
Software – The plastic knifes and forks they give you at Red Rooster
Hardware – The Real Stainless Steel cutlery
Mouse – What eats the grain in the shed
Mainframe – What holds the Shed up
Web – What a spider makes
Web site – The Shed or under the verandah
Cursor – Someone who swears
Search Engine – What you do when the ute won’t go
Upgrade – Steep hill
Server – The person at the Hotel that brings the counter lunch
Mail Server - The Bloke at the Hotel that brings the counter lunch
Sound Card – The one that win’s the hand of 500
User – The neighbour who keeps borrowing stuff
Network – When you have to repair your fishing net
Internet – Complicated fish net repair method